These last few weeks have really been a challenge for me. Most people would say that I am probably pretty laid back, those who know me well would probably say otherwise, especially my beautiful wife. Lord knows that I can be one of the most impatient people. Along with that impatience comes a control freak. I have to be in control of the situation. Over the past few years I have really hit a ceiling in my current job. The politics and overall climate at my current place of employment has really degraded and has become much more of a source of stress and irritation than anything else. When faced with the fact that I cannot go anywhere else except into management (which is NOT my desire) the realization has struck me that if I want to get any more experience I will have to search for another job. So the search has begun. I interviewed with a company approximately one month ago. I have had two interviews total and am currently awaiting the results. Since then two other opportunities have come along. My problem is that I want something to happen and that I want to be in command. Good right? Well yes, except I want things to happen right now. The Lord is so good, He has been long suffering with me and during this process I have been constantly reminded of Proverbs 3:1-10. I have tried to make things happen, but I keep hearing the Lord say wait for me. Shannon keeps telling me to be thankful that I have time to pray for the Lord's direction with these opportunities. As much as I hate to hear it, I know that is right. The other day at work I was stressing about work and worrying about why things aren't moving along with these other opportunities so I decided to take a walk around the building. There are certain things in nature that simply remind me of the Lord and His awesomeness. As I walked along I noticed in a tree a single ladybug. Now this was nearing the end of the period where the ladybugs swarm. As I sat and watched how this little bug ate the aphids from this tree and seemed to eat to its little heart's content it was a simple reminder of Jesus' words:
"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his staturs?" -Matthew 6:25-27
The Lord clearly spoke to me and said that He is in control and to not fret about what will happen. Well that is easier said than done. So I write this to say that I need to pray, to repent, and to seek the Lord out with ALL my heart. What does that mean, all my heart as Proverbs 3:5 says. Trust with all my heart. I often pray Psalm 139:23, 24. I know that the Lord is teaching me to trust with ALL my heart. I hope that I am not too foolish to take the long way to learn this.
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